A typical week for me, in a nutshell: Babysit on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. On those days, I'm out of the house from 6:30 am to 6:30 pm if I drive straight to work and back. On these days I am also supposed to be doing all kinds of errand-y things like, making a grocery list, going grocery shopping, paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, etc, etc. Thursdays I drive 5 hours to pick up my sister, then I do rehabilitation and care for her Thursday through Sunday, when I drive 5 hours to take her back home. On those days, I am busy with exercises/daily care/cooking/etc from at least 9 am until 10 pm. So if you add up all those hours, I am working approximately 88 hours a week.
And on top of that, in my *free* time, I am supposed to be finishing up writing my paper and thesis for graduate school and helping a friend edit her thesis. Guess what? None of that writing/editing is getting done because I am *exhausted*, and that adds some guilt and bad feelings on top of the pile.
Bottom line, I just feel like everything sucks. And that's before I even think about the whole, 'my baby died and now I am infertile and worried I will never get pregnant again' thing.
I know I'm in a bad spot, and what I really need to do is be grateful for the good things I have in my life: my husband, my furbabies, my sister, a job that's giving us enough money to pay for the fertility treatments that we need. But at the moment, every thing that I should be grateful for just feels like another responsibility.
Wow, this was long, guess I needed to vent, huh? ;)