What else is there to do...
When you expected to be a mom, and instead you're a miscarriage survivor struggling with infertility? 

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

My First ICLW!

If you're new to my little corner of the blogosphere, here is our story in a nutshell.

Mr. Unexpected and I have been TTC since April 2009.  We got pregnant in July 2009, but unfortunately found out at 12 weeks that the baby had stopped growing at around 8 weeks.  It's been a year since we lost our baby, and we haven't had another positive pregnancy test.  We've just started seeing a RE, and we found out I am hypothyroid, so now I am on meds for that.  I also have a clotting disorder, and will need to start Lovenox injections with my next BFP.  We have some more testing to do this week, and this cycle we are also trying Clo.mid with ultrasound monitoring and an HCG trigger shot.  At this point, I can barely even imagine what it would be like to get pregnant again.  Isn't it amazing how a journey like this can suck all the hope out of you?

In more recent news, I (sort of) got the results for Mr. Unexpected's semen analysis yesterday.  I know his total count was 40 million (with normal being >40 million), his motility was 65% (with normal being >50%), and his forward progression score was 2++ (with normal being, from what I can tell >2).  The nurse said it all looked good, but it seems to mostly look borderline... I don't know.  I requested a paper copy, and I will talk with the doctor about it at my ultrasound appointment on Monday.  

I think part of my problem is that with so many things wrong with me (hypothyroid, clotting disorder, late ovulation, luteal phase spotting), I would just be so much more comfortable if everything on Mr. Unexpected's end was just absolutely, clearly, obviously amazing.  A crappy reproductive system meeting a mediocre reproductive system just doesn't seem like a sure thing for getting the job done.  Besides, what else would I do if I didn't manufacture things to worry about out of thin air?


Aly said...

Hi, I'm stopping by from ICLW and wanted to say Good Luck. Infertility really does suck the hope out of you. I really hope this cycle will be "it" for you and you don't have to deal with any of it anymore.

Best of luck!

Hope said...

Things sound really hard for you. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had something profound to offer, but all I have right now is a virtual (((Hug))).

(ICLW #123)

Mummy in Waiting said...

Just stopping by from ICLW! Good luck with your upcoming clomid cycle. I hope your RE can reassure you of your DH results but they sound pretty good to me. All the best!


b35 said...

hi there. i'm here from ICLW. we're quite similar...i had a bfp this year but unfortunately lost bubs during the 8th week (i was almost 10 weeks) and i have hyperthyroid -- i am also medicated. i had the testing for APS as my doctor said that if you have one autoimmune disease your chances for another are higher than normal...but i don't seem to have it. i think i will have it tested again though if/when i get the next bfp.

good luck with this cycle with the clomid and the ultrasounds...that sounds like a great way to take all the guess work out of when to BD. i hope it ends in a bfp for you!

b :)

Keya said...

ICLW # 52 here. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I see that I am right behind you in the TTC/IF journey since I started trying soon after you did. But i can't imagine the pain and sorrow of a m/c. We are getting ready to get tests etc done as well. I hope to follow your story (and success!!). Adding you to my blog list :)

Reagan's Mommy said...

Hi there from ICLW. IF is awful and it is nice to have the comfort and support of others. You can put your hubs on a good multi-vitamin to maintain support of his numbers. :-)

Marion said...

I hope you get a BFP again with this cycle! Sorry to hear that you had a m/c last year... It's heartbreaking to go through... My baby's heartbeat stopped at almost 10 weeks, but developmentally it was at 7 weeks. I also didn't want them to take my baby out of me with the D & C evac...